The Orkney Ram

The three rams at Backarass are in a huddle. They are all fine, big boys but not quite yet of Derby Ram status.

The Derby Ram is a mythical ram of giant size. It’s a folk song based upon a tall tale. Here’s my favourite version, by a folk harmony trio called Said the Maiden. See them live if you can.

The Derby Ram

As I went down to Derby twas on a market day
I spied the biggest ram, sir, that ever was fed on hay

and, indeed, my lads, it’s true, my lads, I never was known to lie,
and if you’d have been in Derby, you’d seen him the same as I.

This ram he had four feet, sir, on four feet he did stand
And every time a foot went down it covered an acre of land

and, indeed, my lads, it’s true, my lads, I never was known to lie,
and if you’d have been in Derby, you’d seen him the same as I.

This ram he had two horns, sir, they reached up to the moon,
A boy went up in January and he didn’t come down till June.

and, indeed, my lads, it’s true, my lads, I never was known to lie,
and if you’d have been in Derby, you’d seen him the same as I.

This ram, he had a tail, sir, it reached right down to hell,
And every time he waggled it, it rang the devil’s bell.

and, indeed, my lads, it’s true, my lads, I never was known to lie,
and if you’d have been in Derby, you’d seen him the same as I.

The man that killed this ram, sir, was drowned in his blood
And the little boy that held the bowl was washed away in the flood.

and, indeed, my lads, it’s true, my lads, I never was known to lie,
and if you’d have been in Derby, you’d seen him the same as I.

The little boys of Derby, sir, came beggin’ for his eyes
To kick about the streets, sir, for they were football sized.

and, indeed, my lads, it’s true, my lads, I never was known to lie,
and if you’d have been in Derby, you’d seen him the same as I.

And all the women of Derby, sir, came begging for his ears
To make ’em leather aprons to last them forty years

and, indeed, my lads, it’s true, my lads, I never was known to lie,
and if you’d have been in Derby, you’d seen him the same as I.

Now if you don’t believe me, sir, or think I tell a lie
Just ask the folk of Derby, ‘cos they’re bigger liars than I,

and, indeed, my lads, it’s true, my lads, I never was known to lie,
and if you’d have been in Derby, you’d seen him the same as I.