It’s Not Cricket

There’s a green cricket at my feet. I’d like to get a photograph of it.

I crouch down and get my pocket camera out. It’s only a ‘record shot’ I’m looking for, something I can use to identify it when I get back home.

I manœuvre round, contorting my arms and moving slowly so it doesn’t jump or fly. I get the shot and check it on the back of the camera.

It’s doing a massive poo.

It’s a good job it’s only a record shot and I wasn’t looking for high art.