Talking Italian

I’ve always refused to buy a set of weighing scales for the bathroom. I tell people that’s because I have a teenage daughter but it’s probably because I’ve never wanted to know the damage that long weeks away subsisting on M&S Simply Food and beer have done to me. Shopping in Kirkwall Lidl I see a set of talking scales and succumb. They were only £11 or so but I still worry about the waste of precious resources that have gone into making them.


I set them up in my wreck of a bathroom and they speak my weight in kilogrammes in Italian. I reach for the instruction book and press the button until it speaks my weight in pounds in English. I listen carefully and then switch it back to Italian. My weight sounds better that way, in more ways than one.

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