Note to self: when arriving and cleaning the kitchen for first use, always empty the toaster crumb-tray of woodlice before warming pitta to avoid that toasted woodlouse smell.
Woodlice are nutritious but not mint flavoured, so always shake them off your toothbrush before brushing.
Always remove woodlice from the USB ports of your laptop before attaching USB peripheral devices.
Always zip up your washbag at night if you want to avoid getting woodlice on the bristles of your toothbrush.
In order to increase the light in your living room, get one person to tip the bowl-shaped lamp-shade to one side whilst the other uses the extension tube on the vacuum cleaner to clear the layer of dead woodlice from the bottom. It’s worth at least 5 watts of low-energy bulb.
Always tip the woodlice gently from your slippers out of an open window to avoid a messy situation between your toes in the morning.
Remember to always replace the lid of your slow cooker fully to avoid woodlice falling into your Orkney Beef casserole when the steam from below overcomes them. Although nutritious, their presence is an acquired taste for youngsters.
Emptying woodlice from your underpants before putting them on in the early morning leads to much greater comfort on the bicycle saddle by mid-morning.
Always buy a toilet seat that contrasts in colour and tone with woodlice in order to avoid sitting on them unexpectedly.
Always shake the woodlice off your flannel before using it to wipe your face in the morning.