There’s something of the Medieval torture instrument about conkers.
There’s that casing which looks as if it should be attached to a chain and wielded by swinging vigorously around your head.
There are the conkers themselves which look like red-hot cannonballs.
And then there’s this one, with its secret alien grin.
All I need now is a drill and a shoe lace and I’m in business. Anyone for conkers ?