The woodland walk barriers seem to mock me as I walk up the ramp. There are carvings of birds all along the hand rails yet not a sign of them in the trees. A Woodpecker; how I would dearly love to see one.
As I walk up I see a huge black red and white bird with a powerful bill. It’s a Great Spotted Woodpecker in the tree – just in front of me.
It’s then that my phone ringtone goes off and so does the bird. “No,” I say, “I never took out Payment Protection Insurance.” My voice has extra layers of Christmas-cake-deep frosted icing to it.
I feel like banging my head like a Woodpecker.
I wait for another half an hour in silence. My phone is now on silent and so am I. Then, thankfully, it comes back and poses beautifully in front of me.